Satoshi no Tao
by Suonymona
Summary: A parody of "Snow White." Warning: some shounen-ai content.


This is my attempt at a fairy tale parody. The title literally means "White Satoshi," and it's based on Snow White. The Japanese names are used, but most are fairly obvious. And there's some Shishi in this, sort of. Send me feedback at [Jillypuff@cheerful.com][1]

_Satoshi no Tao_

_By Jillypuff_

_Rating: PG-13_

_ _

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Tokiwa, there was a beautiful young princess named Satoshi no Tao. Satoshi had beautiful golden hair, big round eyes, and wore a cute little dress. [1] Her beauty was matched only by her sheer obliviousness to all that went on around her. Unfortunately for Satoshi, her mother, the Queen, ran off with an old man by the name of Ookido, and Satoshi's father King Sakaki remarried to a young woman known as Musashi. Musashi was very vain, and had a right to be so, with her long red hair and sparkling green eyes. However, Musashi was not nearly as nice inside as she was outside. She was petty and vindictive, and there were rumors floating around that she was an evil sorceress.

Musashi owned a magic Nyase, which could talk. Every morning, Musashi would wake up and go to her Pokémon.

"Nyase, Nyase, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? And you better answer right, baka!" she snarled.

"You are, M-chan," Nyase answered, without looking up from his yarn. "Although that jari-gaaru Satoshi is getting pretty cute…"

This made the evil queen very jealous of poor Satoshi, and from then on she was very cruel to her. She took away her pretty dresses, leaving her in a jacket, jeans, and ragged baseball cap; cut her beautiful golden hair and dyed the remains black; and made her sleep in the stables with the Ponyta.

However, even all of Musashi's tricks couldn't deter from Satoshi's loveliness. One day, when Musashi asked her Nyase the normal question, the answer was different.

"Sorry ta break it to ya, M-chan, but I gotta say Satoshi is cuter," the neko informed her. "You look like a Koiking compared ta her." [2]

"Nani?!" Musashi shrieked. "That's it, the jari-gaaru has _got_ to go. [3] And I'm replacing you with a magic Perushian first thing in the morning, furball!"

Ignoring the neko's piteous cries of "No! Anything but the Perushian," Queen Musashi summoned up her loyal bishounen henchman Kojiro. 

"Hwa wis ih, Hmwasshwi?" Kojiro asked from behind the onigiri he was munching on.

"That's _Queen _Musashi to you, nitwit!" she snapped."And I want you to deal with that baka Princess Satoshi. She's gotten almost as lovely as me."

"Lovelier!" yelled the cat.

He was sent flying by Musashi's mallet. "Shut up! Just take him out into Tokiwa Forest and be done with him, Kojiro."

"Okay, Mu-I mean, Queen Musashi," her henchman said quickly. He didn't want to risk suffering the neko's fate. 

Kojiro went off and dragged Satoshi from the stables, ignoring her protests about being out of Monsterballs. Once they were in the woods, Kojiro brought out his knife and prepared to do the fatal deed. But one look at the adorable clueless expression on the princess's face caused him to falter. _It would be just wrong to kill someone too dull to protect herself_, he thought.

"Kuso! Musashi's going to kill me for this!" he moaned, throwing the knife down. "Listen, Princess, the queen wants me to kill you, but I can't do it. Just run for it if you don't want to die, alright?"

"Huh?" Satoshi inquired. "What's 'die' mean?"

Kojiro sweatdropped. "Why can't you be as smart as you are cute?" he muttered. He turned back to Satoshi with a forced smile on his face. "Hey, Princess, I heard there's some wild Pokémon out in the woods!" _That should get rid of her._

Sure enough- "Oh, wow!" Satoshi squealed. "I've gotta catch 'em!" She ran off. Kojiro smiled and returned to the castle to tell Musashi that Satoshi was gone.

After a few minutes of running around in the woods, Satoshi came to a sudden halt. "Wait a minute!" she wailed. "I still don't have any Monsterballs!" She fell to the ground sobbing, then perked back up as she caught a whiff of something. "Ooooh! Food!" The princess started to trail the scent.

She soon came to a tiny cottage in a forest clearing. Satoshi walked up to the front door and knocked. "Hello? Anyone home in there?" she called out. When no one answered, she tried the door, which was unlocked, and let herself in. She spotted a bowl of rice on the stove, and gobbled it up. Then she yawned. "Boy, I'm sleepy!" she declared, then promptly fell asleep on one of the tiny beds.

Meanwhile, the owners of the house, who happened to be a group of seven Pokémon, were on their way home from the Pokémon League. Their leader, Pikachuu, was in front, followed by Fushigidane, Zenigame, Pidjotto, Lizardon, Lapras, and Kabigon. [4]

"Hey, someone's been messing with our house!" Pikachuu yelped as they came to the cottage.

Pidjotto fluttered in. "And they ate our rice!"

Fushigidane came in next. "And they're sleeping in my bed!"

Zenigame looked at the princess. "It's a girl!" he announced.

"Poor thing!" Lapras cooed. "She must be lost!"

"Can we eat it?" asked Kabigon.

"I say we fry it!" growled Lizardon. He opened his mouth and promptly proceeded to fry poor Satoshi.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" the poor girl shrieked, and bolted up. She looked around and saw seven Pokémon staring at her.

"Who are you?" she asked, forgetting that Pokémon can't speak.

"We're the owners of this house," Pikachuu replied, also conveniently forgetting the no-talk rule. "Who are you, and why are you here?"

"My stepmother's friend Kojiro told that there were Pokémon in the woods. And he said something about me dying if I didn't stay here. What's that mean?" the princess asked cutely.

"Anou…hold on a minute," Pikachuu told her. He led the others aside. "What do we do? Her life's at risk if we kick her out!" he hissed at the others.

"So?" snorted Lizardon. "Not our concern."

Pidjotto smacked him. "How can you be so cruel? We'll let the girl stay here, of course. She can clean house while we battle in the league."

The electric mouse looked at the others. "Agreed?" Everyone nodded except Lizardon, who was sulking. Pikachuu smiled. "Then it's settled. We'll keep her."

And so the seven Pokémon adopted the young girl, ignoring her claims that she had caught them. Every day, they would leave for the league, leaving Satoshi behind to attempt to clean house, although she usually ended up making a bigger mess then they had started with.

Back in Tokiwa, Musashi had finally taken Nyase back in. "Come on, furball, tell me who the most gorgeous one of all is!" she commanded him.

"Hate to break it to you, M-chan, but the jari-gaaru still alive, and she's still cuter," Nyase said smugly. 

All across the land, a resounding "NANI?!?!?!" could be heard. The seven Pokémon heard it, but shrugged it off. Princess Satoshi heard it, but she was too busy pigging out to pay much heed. King Sakaki heard it, and wondered why he had married this woman. Kojiro heard it, and immediately went running off to a far-away land, where he was enslaved by a creepy bondage-loving Musashi-clone named Rumika and didn't appear again in this story for awhile. [5]

Musashi smacked poor Nyase with a mallet, sending him flying out the window and also out of our story. Then she sat down and frowned. "I'll have to deal with that baka of a princess myself," she muttered. "But how to do it? How to do it…Got it!" Musashi whipped out one of her many costumes, with an evil smile on her face, and began to prepare for her scheme.

The next day, the seven Pokémon got up to go to the league as usual.

"Here's your lunches, guys!" Satoshi said cheerfully, handing them all the food. "I made them myself!" The Pokémon winced and some of them got pale. Fushigidane turned greener then usual.

"Anou…arigatou, Pikapi" said Pikachuu. [6] "Now, stay in the house until we get back. And don't talk to any strangers, alright?"

"Hai, Pikachuu!" the princess replied. "Ja ne!" She hugged them all and skipped back into the house. The seven Pokémon went on their merry way, unaware of the peril lurking for their princess.

After the Pokémon had left, Musashi stepped out of hiding. She looked like a cute Dutch girl, with a basket full of round objects in her hand. [7] She stepped up to the cottage and knocked on the door.

Satoshi stuck her head outside. "Konnichi wa! Who are you?"

"I'm…Jessie! Would you like to buy some of my wares?" the queen said, with a forced smile on her face.

The princess frowned. "Gee, I don't know. Pikachuu told me not to talk to strangers…"

"Are you sure? I'm selling Pokémon…" Musashi trailed off enticingly. She watched the girl's eyes light up. _Got her!_

"_Pokémon?_ Oh, goodie! Here you go!" Satoshi shoved some gold pieces at her disguised stepmother. Musashi nodded and handed a Monsterball to the foolish girl. She then walked off and hid behind a tree to watch poor Satoshi's demise.

"Monsterball, go!" cried the princess as she tossed the ball to the ground. However, all that came out was a strange green gas. Satoshi frowned and took a whiff of it. "What kind of Pokémon is this…" The girl trailed off. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Musashi ran off cackling. She had put deadly poison inside the ball instead of a Pokémon. Now she was finally rid of the jari-gaaru! However, when she got back to the palace, she found that Sakaki, irritated by her murder of his daughter and bad manners, had replaced her with his new queen Yamato and faithful bishounen sidekick Kosaburo. The miffed Musashi took Nyase and ran off. She saved Kojiro from the evil Rumika and after spouting some stupid lines about how they had their freedom, the trio floated off in a hot-air balloon together.

The seven Pokémon were not so lucky. When they arrived home from the league, they found their Satoshi-chan on the floor, dead to the world. 

"Pikapi! Pikapi, wake up! Pikapi!" Pikachuu shouted. He tried thundershocking the girl, but there was no response. "C'mon guys, help me!" All seven Pokémon, even Lizardon, tried their most powerful attacks on the girl, but to no avail. Satoshi was beyond their reach.

The grief-stricken fighters placed the princess in a glass coffin, so as to give her a burial fit for royalty. All the Pokémon in the forest and surrounding lands came to pay their respects and to try to wake her, but none could succeed.

In the neighboring land of Masara, a young prince happened to overhear his Nidokingu and Eebui chatting about the sleeping princess, and how not even the strongest fighters could wake her. He took this as a challenge.

"So none can wake the girl, ne? I declare that I, Ookido Shigeru, shall be the one to wake her!" he boomed. He leaped upon his Uindei and rode off towards Tokiwa. [8] He arrived at the forest soon after, and dismounted his Pokémon. Shigeru walked over to the coffin and beheld the loveliest girl he had ever laid eyes upon.

"This is the princess? Hn, not bad. If you won't be awakened by an attack, my dear, perhaps a kiss will do," he said. Shigeru leaned down and kissed Satoshi on the lips. He got rather into it too. Unfortunately for our prince, the seven Pokémon chose this moment to come out of the house, to see a strange man molesting the unconscious girl. A Thunder, Fire Blast, Hydro Pump, Solar Beam, Sky Attack, Blizzard, and Hyper Beam simultaneously hit Shigeru.

"Uuuuggggghhhhhh…" he groaned.

However, Shigeru's kiss had purged the last traces of poison from Satoshi's system. The young princess groaned and sat up.

"Huh? Where am I?" she asked. "Last thing I remember is that weird gas coming from the Monsterball, then…" She then spotted Shigeru on the ground. "Hey! Were you the one who saved me?"

"Of course!" Shigeru replied, jumping to his feet so as not to look foolish in front of his new girlfriend. "Now you have to marry me."

The princess looked at him appraisingly. She spotted the Monsterballs at his waist and squealed. "You're a trainer? All right, I'll marry you if you can beat me in a Pokémon match! Three on three, no time limit!"

Shigeru blinked. "Anou…alright, I guess," he replied. "Eebui, go!"

"Pikachuu, I choose you!"

The match lasted a full half hour, until Satoshi's Pidjotto finally collapsed before Shigeru's Nidokingu. Satoshi sulked for a minute, then relented. "Return, Pidjotto! OK, you won. You must be really good! I'll marry you," she told the smug prince.

"There was any doubt? Hop on, my dear," Shigeru said, placing Satoshi on his Uindei. The two rode off to Masara, with the seven Pokémon trailing behind.

Satoshi and Shigeru were married three days later, and went off to Aopulco for their honeymoon. There, Shigeru discovered that Satoshi…um…well…let's just say that Satoshi wasn't actually a princess, OK? The prince soon got over it, and he and his "bride" lived happily ever after.

~Owari~

1-Like the Celadon City episode.

2-A Magikarp. Those things are butt ugly!

3-Bratty girl. Musashi calls Satoshi a "jari-booi," or bratty boy a lot. But since he's a girl here…

4-Pikachu, Bulbasaur, Squirtle, Pidgeot, Charizard, Lapras, and Snorlax respectively.

5-It's Jessiebell. Run for the hills!

6-"Umm…thanks, Pikapi." Pikapi is what Pikachuu calls Satoshi.

7-Think of "Who gets to keep Togepi?" 

8-Arcanine. It's the only Pokémon we know he owns I could see him riding.

Well, that's done. I may do another parody with the Frog Prince with Kosaburo and Kojiro. Kosa-kun's voice in the dub is just begging for it! But I have to work on my other fics first. Ja ne! ~Jillypuff

   [1]: mailto:Jillypuff@cheerful.com



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